Saturday, March 11, 2017


The word 'sophistry' has a nice ring to it; so does 'tapestry.' Can I effectively use both of them in the same piece? Then again, why would I? "Well, here I am again, sitting on my puke green love seat" - if I keep writing the words out, I'd write the entire song out! I don't know how I ever get much of anything done when I always have music stuck in my head. Maybe that's why I'm not as productive as I'd like to be ... and yet, my love for music is what inspires me to get anything 'important' done. Just as Pavlov's dog fetched the food at the ring of the bell, I attend to my tasks at the sound of music, and sometimes, at the expectation of that sound.

Patterns are deceiving. I must be hardwired for something beyond repetition, and still, I can't seem to bring myself out of it.

I thought I had found God today. Now that I reflect on it though, it must have been Him who was there up until shortly after the realization had begun. For such a realization to begin means to freeze what is the object of my mind and I take it as an a priori truth that you can't freeze God like that. Upon being asked, or imagining being asked, how God is working in my life, my response is normally vacuous. It's as if there's some expectation, some answer, some awareness of the answer that I think ought to be there. In looking for all of God, I ended up not seeing some of God and finding contentment in that. Truth and morals nestle to start a fire in my bones, and for whatever reason, I was convinced that it is through these details that I become aware of God. None of this makes much sense in hindsight, and perhaps I am too tired to right write coherently, but I found something significant for a second.

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